Saturday, September 22, 2012

Parenting and Suffering

 
Romans 18-21=
For I reckon that the sufferings of this time are not worthy to be compared with the glory to come that shall be revealed in us. 19 For the expectation of the creature waits for the revelation of the sons of God. 20 For the creature was made subject to vanity: not willingly, but by reason of him that made it subject, in hope. 21 Because the creature also itself shall be delivered from the servitude of corruption, into the liberty of the glory of the children of God.
 
There is so much food for thought here: Suffering, hope, redemption, children of God, etc… But, I want to start it off with suffering= how does scripture relate “suffering” to parenting?-
 
Let's begin with a look at:
27 ὁ δὲ ἐραυνῶν τὰς καρδίας οἶδεν τί τὸ φρόνημα τοῦ πνεύματος, ὅτι κατὰ θεὸν ἐντυγχάνει ὑπὲρ ἁγίων.
 
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The first four words are what I want to focus on, more specifically: to suffer (that is to be acted on)
In Greek, Suffer is pásxō =properly, to feel heavy emotion, especially suffering; affected, experiencing feeling (literally "sensible" = "sensed-experience"); "the feeling of the mind, emotion, passion" (J. Thayer). It also can mean ("to experience feeling") which relates to any part of us that feels strong emotion, passion, or suffering – especially "the capacity to feel suffering" (J. Thayer).
 
You see, suffer means= pascho/pascha. I hope this is making sense now. Have you ever heard of the "paschal lamb?" Does God know anything about that?
 
You see, the Father sends the Son and the Son (is not the Father), but is divinely related to him in his divine essence. He has two natures= human and divine. I hold, as St. Thomas does, that the Our Lord held the beatific vision always. His humanity dies, but is risen again! Christ has died, Christ is risen!
 
Now, let’s put this in the context of parenting.  The Father Loves the Son perfectly. A perfect unity of love is a reciprocation of divine love. But, the Father knows of the sufferings His Son will endure. The Early Church Fathers used to wrestle with the idea whether God had to send the Son (Athanasius) AND the answer is “it is fitting”. I mean, of course the Father could’ve done whatever he wanted: snapped his fingers, waved a wand…whatever. But, “it was fitting”.
 
In the theological sense, it was/is fitting for the Father to send the Son to rectify humanity, to set right what Adam did wrong in the garden, to cleanse our humanity and offer a way unto the Transcendant and immenant Creator.
 
As it applies to parenting, he does it for us, to show us what a Parent should do. To give us something to imitate. All scripture is for pedagogical purposes, that is to teach us something (as Dei Verbum points out). The Father lets Christ fulfill his destiny (if you will). He lets Christ be Christ. He doesn’t intervene, he doesn’t stop Pontius Pilate. He doesn’t rescue His Son. He let’s Christ be Christ
Here is where we can learn something about parenting. How many of us can truly say that we let our children be our children? I get these statements all the time from the most beautiful, holy women: My daughter/son, is not practicing their faith. They are doing this_______. Or, I wish I would’ve done this _______. Or, had I known all I know now I would’ve done this _______.
 
I usually answer like this: Ma'am, how many apostles did Christ have? And they answer 12. I then ask well were the 12 only privy to the gospel? Did Christ preach to many more? And they answer____. Well, if so many people heard Christ preaching and only 12 reacted, then what makes you think that (and they haven’t seen Christ face or privy to his preaching himself) you can do so much better? Those people have exactly what your child has….free will! They can choose or not choose.
What we have to do as parents is exactly what the Father did for the Son, is exactly what the Son does for humanity….love. St. Augustine has a wonderful quote, “do what you will and love…” He is stating that if you truly love, then all things will move in the right direction. All things will be showered with the everlasting God, because God is love. Love is a driving force. It can, and does move mountains. It keeps the parent up at night when the child is away or sick. Love makes the parent give and want nothing back. Love touches, moves, and turns stone hearts into faithful givers. It calls us out of ourselves into a reality that is unknown, and quite frankly uncomfortable, but it is wonderful.
 
But, love love’s us right where we are. So, love your children as they are and “do what you will and love”. Make sure you do everything with driving force of love, which includes being patient. God knows what is best and sometimes we have to surrender our children to Him, just as He did His Son for us. We give them back in our acts (prayers, Mass, etc.). We should continually to pray and interced for our children, no matter what their age! Ask for their protection of their guardian angels, for the intercession of Our Lady, attend Mass and bring them there in your prayers. Just be you, but in being you be what they are not...yet! Also, please remember that God is not always there the way we want Him, but He’s always on time.

Monday, September 10, 2012

The Culture search in Money, Power, and Fame...

 

I like to ask a series of "Why" questions to youth or men whenever I am giving a talk.  It is kind of like what happened to those of us who had little brothers and sisters growing up; the famous "WHY?"  I ask the persons, "Why did you come?" The answer usually comes down to because "I had to."  I keep going; "Why didn't you stay home?"  Their answer is usually because of some type of punishment of sort (not providing for the family, or my parents will keep me home on Friday).  I keep going, "Why do you want to go out on Friday?" I keep going as long as time allows of "Why?" What you will get to (and you can take LONG roads for this) is, "I just want to be happy."  Once you get to that answer it is as if you do not need to ask any longer.  "Why is it good to be happy?" Because it is good to be happy! 


The natural progression is then, "WHAT WILL MAKE ME HAPPY?" What is the goal of all of my willing and knowing?  What is it that will ultimately bring me happiness.  Now happiness is not blowing a party whistle at a party on top of a table (which may be fun as in the picture above), but that is not the goal.  The ancients had a word for this"happiness" in greek:"eudaimonia."  It means the contentment of the soul!  The true contentment in being.  Something we all know too well and are implicitly searching for it in all of our actions (even in politics).  
Last week I introduced you to the thought of a gentleman by the name of St. Thomas Aquinas.  I want to pick up where I left off.  You see St. Thomas pondered these questions that we all search for, especially this one, "What will bring me perfect happiness?"  Last week I asked if sex and food would bring us the full contentment of our soul, and found out it wouldn't. So then what is it?  This week I use St. Thomas to ask if it is Fame, Money and Power!

  Aquinas answers the common culture’s error to honor and glory as the key to happiness.[1]  This is something very obvious in our culture.  As allocated in the other “quests,” the mass media is consumed with these endeavors.  One of the common answer for individuals presently is to be someone famous, by being a sports athlete or an astronaut, etc.
Aquinas recognizes that honor is something conferred on the person for what is accomplished.[2]  In some cases, honor is given unjustly, as something not deserved.  One can receive honor, even if they are a bad person, for the wrong reasons (just look at sports or politics for an example- and of course they're not all bad). It is noticeable that this is something coming from another or from the exterior.  This is the reason for it not being the key to happiness.  Nature does not bestow this upon me, but rather the other does.  It depends on my actions, or doing something, to attain this from others, not because it’s intrinsic of my nature, but the expression of it, or not, is recognized.  The good of the individual’s nature must involve a specific achievement or state within the individual, in order for it to be the true good.  This must be based on a thing in the individual that makes them proper for it.    The famous and honorable people of today will be the forgotten persons of tomorrow.  Honor is not the end itself, but rather an effect or means to an end. 
Some people think, especially young people, that riches (money) is the thing that will make them happy.  The love of money is vital for the culture. With banks being robbed, the economy situation and the many ads of individuals abusing money, it is no wonder that this becomes the primary end for most in our culture. Just watch a music video and the different shiny "thing" and money flashed around as if it is the source of happiness.  St. Thomas elucidates on this train of thought[3], and notices it too is a means to an end.   

If one were stranded on an island with all the money in the world and they were not able to spend the money; would they truly be happy?  St. Thomas states, “…riches are only desired for the sake of something else; they provide no good of themselves but only when we use them…”[4]  Money is not the end, but rather a means to an end.  In itself, it is practically useless.  Its value arises from the value given to it by societies who recognize it as a medium of exchange.  We value it for the sake of what can be purchased with it as means. 
 What about world power?[5] This, too, is common to the culture.  It is in many of the world leaders (Hitler, Mussolini, etc.), all the way to the managers of the common food mart.  Power is something that our culture is consumed in.  There is even a quote from this culture’s most notable “heroes.” “First you get the money then you get the power.”[6] However, St. Thomas recognizes that power in itself is neutral.  It may be used for good or evil ends.  In most cases, as named, it is evil, or it could even be abused.  One may value the compassionate use of power, but that would mean power is seen as a means to an end, namely, showing kindness.  Once the distinction is made in the good use of power, or the bad use of power, then the recognition of there being something beyond power will determine if it is bad or good.  Again, power cannot be the goal of all happiness.
 
So then, if it is not money, or power, or fame then what is it?  What would bring perfect happiness?  See, human nature presents something inside of us that searches for the quest for human existence and as St. Thomas puts it, "Now, natural desire would be in vain if it could never be fulfilled.  Therefore, man’s natural desire is capable of fulfillment…”[7] Aquinas concludes that nothing in the experiential world can fulfill the desire of the human will for happiness.The desire of the person can only be satisfied with boundless or infinite good. That infinite good is God Himself, what we call in Catholic Theology, the Beatific Vision.   You see, in latin the word beatus means happy. Happiness (beatus) consists in longing for the infinitie good: Beatific Vision.  So then all of our willing, and searching is implicitly the search for God. To state another way, the happiness we are searching for is ultimately found in God Himself!

[1] SCGd, 3.1,28sd-, ed. Vernon Bourke, 133-114
[2] SCG 3.1, 28, ed. Vernon Bourke, 114
[3] SCG, 3.1, 30, ed. Vernon Bourke, 116-117
[4]SCG 3.1, 30, 2, ed. Vernon Bourke, 116
[5] SCG, 3.1, 31,ed. Vernon Bourke, 117
[6] Al Pacino in Scarface.  Scarface is a immensely popular film in the culture. 
[1]Thomas Aquinas, Summa Contra Gentiles, III, trans. Vernon Bourke. (Notre Dame, IN: Notre Dame Press: 1956), 3.1, 48

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Search for Happiness in Sexuality...





 

In a culture where mass media surrounds all individuals, it is easy to notice others “enjoying" themselves.  The effect of such can be to drive individuals to search for happiness in a number of places.  Celebrities in television shows and other forms of mass media are shown living in enormous houses with lavish lifestyles and are usually portrayed as smiling and having a great time. This is what permeates the culture.  There are other individuals who are driven to pick out colleges and college programs to suit these needs or to match what they see, read, or hear about as the end all to life’s issues. Mass media shows individuals smiling and “happy,” while they are doing a certain activity, own a certain product, or look a certain way.  In all of these mass media products, smiles and joy are filled with each. The culture is driven to attain happiness at all costs and this newest product or lifestyle will suit that need.   Questions that all persons in the culture should ask are, “Is this true?”  What will ultimately make me happy?  Will these things really provide for the happiness that I see and hear of these other individuals?

These kinds of answers have been asked throughout the centuries. One of the chief philosophers and theologians who helped answer such questions is Thomas Aquinas.

Aquinas

St. Thomas sets forth a principle that will be helpful, “It is impossible for natural desire to be unfulfilled, since ‘nature does nothing in vain.’  Now, natural desire would be in vain if it could never be fulfilled.  Therefore, man’s natural desire is capable of fulfillment…”
 
See, a pecan seed “moves” toward its goal, which is a pecan tree.  The apple’s seed becomes an apple tree.  Things act for their desired “end” or “goal.” The revolving world moves toward an end which is visible to each.  In the case of the human person, one would expect nothing less than the meaningfulness of a person’s desires.

In Thomistic thought, a person has an intellect and will, it is embedded that “All men by nature stretch themselves out toward knowing.” In other words: what is the purpose of all actions in the intellect, especially for the person?  The intellect strives for truth and the will towards goodness.Aquinas, uncover the true final cause of the motion of human will ordered to happiness (much like Aristotle does in Nichomachean Ethics).



Sexual activity is one of the keys of our culture.  It sells products and is promoted in all shapes and forms, regularly.  The Center for Disease Control stated that as many as 63% of teenagers are involved in sexual activity.Men are reported to have some 15 partners between the ages of 15-44, women as many as 6 on the average. This may come from the result that the sexual culture is promoted in every form of mass media. An average commercial has an enormous amount of sexually explicit tones in approval of the act in our culture. 


Food is sometimes also promoted in our society as the goal of human happiness. There are an immense amount of food chains and restaurants provided throughout the culture.  Commercials and ads always show food and happiness together.  The culture even “biggie sizes” the more than required food amount that is already offered. The results of such are obesity.  More than one-third of American adults are reported as obese or overweight.17% of children are reported as obese. 
 
See,  it is impossible for sexual intercourse and food to be the goal of all happiness and the will.  The fulfillment of these bodily desires is not entirely human acts or desires.  Animals, such as dogs, cats, gorillas, etc. have similar needs.  The fulfillments of these acts are then animalistic, when solely reducing it to this level.  These bodily desires are just means to other ends: “…eating, for instance, [is] to the preservation of the body, and sexual intercourse to the generation of offspring.

In other words, eating is ordered towards sustaining and strengthening the body.  Eating is not an end in itself.  The individual eats for a goal.  It is not that Aquinas does away with the pleasure of eating, such as it “tasting good” or the fellowship it allows for.  These are secondary ends as a result of eating.  These are not the primary ends in themselves. 

This is something that the culture should manage to acknowledge, as it pertains to the recognition of what is taking place in ads.  The advertiser’s recognize that these places should be welcoming and a certain ambience should be the “selling point.”  Aquinas recognizes that food itself is not the end. 

This is why the virtues must be applied to such, especially the virtue of temperance. Temperance can easily be defined as the virtue of moderation.Temperance should be applied to avoid problems such as obesity, or anorexia (i.e. disorders). 



 

 So then, what is the end?  What is the goal of human happiness?  Happiness, to Aquinas, is contentment of the soul.  It is eudemonia.   It is a state of harmony.  Happiness is the end in itself.  It is desired not for another’s sake, but for its own sake. 

 Aquinas concludes that nothing in the material world can bring perfect harmony or perfect happiness.The desire of the person can only be satisfied with boundless or infinite good.  The human person tends to progress towards infinite being by the search for happiness in the will. But, if there is nothing that exists that will allow for the human person to attain perfect happiness, then the words of Albert Camus would hold true:  one might as well commit suicide from the despair. 
However, all humans do not fall into despair. Mankind lives in a way as if happiness is achievable.  An analysis of the will’s search for happiness suggests an entity that will give it rest.  The present culture searches for happiness in a variety of things, but these fleeting and leaves the person desiring more.  These things are good, but lower goods.  Even with the accomplishment of attaining these objects, desires are still unquenched.  The will quests for goodness in all these, but it is all thwarted.  The culture’s answering to the quest for happiness is insatiable.  Aquinas has an answer that goes beyond Aristotle, which is the true meaning for all human willing, knowing and the answer to all desires. 

Final and perfect happiness can consist in nothing else than the vision of the Divine Essence.  


Aquinas underlines that one is never complete, in that humans are oriented towards lower objects (happiness in sex and food in this case) and cannot stare at the “First cause”, then individuals are left searching for it.  This is the answer to the cultures voracious quest in materialism. Mankind’s final end is the beatific vision.  Beatific, from beatus (Latin for “happy” or blessed), speaks of the final status of blessedness or happiness that result from the vision of God, thus constituting the essence of heaven. 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 
 
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