Parenting and Suffering

 

Romans 18-21=

For I reckon that the sufferings of this time are not worthy to be compared with the glory to come that shall be revealed in us. 19 For the expectation of the creature waits for the revelation of the sons of God. 20 For the creature was made subject to vanity: not willingly, but by reason of him that made it subject, in hope. 21 Because the creature also itself shall be delivered from the servitude of corruption, into the liberty of the glory of the children of God.

There is so much food for thought here: Suffering, hope, redemption, children of God, etc… But, I want to start it off with suffering= how does scripture relate “suffering” to parenting?-

 

Let's begin with a look at:

27 ὁ δὲ ἐραυνῶν τὰς καρδίας οἶδεν τί τὸ φρόνημα τοῦ πνεύματος, ὅτι κατὰ θεὸν ἐντυγχάνει ὑπὲρ ἁγίων.

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The first four words are what I want to focus on, more specifically: to suffer (that is to be acted on)

In Greek, Suffer is pásxō =properly, to feel heavy emotion, especially suffering; affected, experiencing feeling (literally "sensible" = "sensed-experience"); "the feeling of the mind, emotion, passion" (J. Thayer). It also can mean ("to experience feeling") which relates to any part of us that feels strong emotion, passion, or suffering – especially "the capacity to feel suffering" (J. Thayer).

 

You see, suffer means= pascho/pascha. I hope this is making sense now. Have you ever heard of the "paschal lamb?" Does God know anything about that?

 

You see, the Father sends the Son and the Son (is not the Father), but is divinely related to him in his divine essence. He has two natures= human and divine. I hold, as St. Thomas does, that the Our Lord held the beatific vision always. His humanity dies, but is risen again! Christ has died, Christ is risen!

 

Now, let’s put this in the context of parenting.  The Father Loves the Son perfectly. A perfect unity of love is a reciprocation of divine love. But, the Father knows of the sufferings His Son will endure. The Early Church Fathers used to wrestle with the idea whether God had to send the Son (Athanasius) AND the answer is “it is fitting”. I mean, of course the Father could’ve done whatever he wanted: snapped his fingers, waved a wand…whatever. But, “it was fitting”.

 

In the theological sense, it was/is fitting for the Father to send the Son to rectify humanity, to set right what Adam did wrong in the garden, to cleanse our humanity and offer a way unto the Transcendant and immenant Creator.

 

As it applies to parenting, he does it for us, to show us what a Parent should do. To give us something to imitate. All scripture is for pedagogical purposes, that is to teach us something (as Dei Verbum points out). The Father lets Christ fulfill his destiny (if you will). He lets Christ be Christ. He doesn’t intervene, he doesn’t stop Pontius Pilate. He doesn’t rescue His Son. He let’s Christ be Christ

Here is where we can learn something about parenting. How many of us can truly say that we let our children be our children? I get these statements all the time from the most beautiful, holy women: My daughter/son, is not practicing their faith. They are doing this_______. Or, I wish I would’ve done this _______. Or, had I known all I know now I would’ve done this _______.
 

I usually answer like this: Ma'am, how many apostles did Christ have? And they answer 12. I then ask well were the 12 only privy to the gospel? Did Christ preach to many more? And they answer____. Well, if so many people heard Christ preaching and only 12 reacted, then what makes you think that (and they haven’t seen Christ face or privy to his preaching himself) you can do so much better? Those people have exactly what your child has….free will! They can choose or not choose.

What we have to do as parents is exactly what the Father did for the Son, is exactly what the Son does for humanity….love. St. Augustine has a wonderful quote, “do what you will and love…” He is stating that if you truly love, then all things will move in the right direction. All things will be showered with the everlasting God, because God is love. Love is a driving force. It can, and does move mountains. It keeps the parent up at night when the child is away or sick. Love makes the parent give and want nothing back. Love touches, moves, and turns stone hearts into faithful givers. It calls us out of ourselves into a reality that is unknown, and quite frankly uncomfortable, but it is wonderful.
 

But, love love’s us right where we are. So, love your children as they are and “do what you will and love”. Make sure you do everything with driving force of love, which includes being patient. God knows what is best and sometimes we have to surrender our children to Him, just as He did His Son for us. We give them back in our acts (prayers, Mass, etc.). We should continually to pray and interced for our children, no matter what their age! Ask for their protection of their guardian angels, for the intercession of Our Lady, attend Mass and bring them there in your prayers. Just be you, but in being you be what they are not...yet! Also, please remember that God is not always there the way we want Him, but He’s always on time.